Have you ever changed in an instant for someone? Like the second you found them your soul changed and nothing else mattered?
This is how things were with my ex. Nothing else mattered, and nothing else existed but us, our family and our love. But, my past haunted me through my own actions.
I lived a life lying to myself. I needed so much for so long, I was naturally just trying to make it, through ptsd, depression, being a single mother. . I hurt people on this path.
My intentions were to see how someone could help me, instead of showing love. Love had gotten me hurt. I had walks and blinders up because of the life I had growing up.
Yes, I’ve had things happen that shouldn’t have, and things I allowed to happen . I am no longer victim to those situations because I see clearly. I see the steps I took to get where I was each time and choices were mine and mine only. (After I was grown).
I take full accountability for this life and its lessons. Thank you. Each of you who upheld those contracts.
I knew something big was coming, and it’s so freeing. It’s so beautiful. I just realised the one thing that has been getting me caught up in every situation I have been in… and it was me. Being kidnapped. I took the drive, I could have refused. I could have stayed where I was and been happy with what I had. But no, I needed new experiences, change, I was searching for myself and I didn’t know it then. Any ounce of what I believed to be love was like going to the fair. And still is, the difference being I see true love now, and I see through lust.
My ex… I could have been honest. I could have been stronger in my boundaries, I could have used my voice more. I could have changed the whole situation, he would have done anything for me… but I wanted him. So I did what I thought he would want. Instead of loving myself enough to say no. It wasn’t him. It was me and my choices that lead to the abuse and anger.
I’m so humbled right now… life is clearly what you make it. Pay attention to the steps your taking now, and how they will effect your future.