Being a Mom can be Hard

Parenting can be very stressful. I have to remember my kid is her own being, her own human with her own personality, but where to draw the line? At 11, shes being way too grown and that may be partly my own fault. I have not been super strict with her or secluded her from the world. She has been through her own trauma that shes dealing with. I must remember also that I made an agreement before this life, to teach her the things she needs to know so she can help change the world.

Being a parent is hard enough on some. Being a single parent is harder. I am blessed with help, but my parenting comes from me alone. No father in her life to speak of, that could teach her anything. Being a mother of 1, without parents of my own to call on.. that’s tough too. This is something I signed up for. My strength comes from my weakest moments.

Its important not to allow my abuse, my trauma to rub off on her.. in those moments when I’m angry I wont be abusive. This is exactly what I’m trying to teach her. Calling names is not ok, being rude is not ok. Not acknowledging your behavior and denying it is not ok. I must remember to breath through these moments, we are ending generational curses.

They say we are born into the vibration we left at in our previous life. And they mention that our parents are reflections of the karma we must endure. These past lives and generations that came before me were all abusive. Sexually. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. I will NOT raise a daughter who is mean or rude. It will end here. She is free to be her own person, to embrace all she loves… but she WILL NOT BE ABUSIVE ON MY WATCH.

Weed is indeed my best friend and I thank the universe for it. For without it.. man, I may not be as strong as I am. I am blessed to have this medicine to assist me along this path. It’s the wildest thing to imagine how our paths interconnect with our families, our children. They have their own, we have our own.. but we meet in the middle. Parenting for me, has become something I value. I will not be perfect, but I will be honest. I will be true. I will teach her what she needs to know whether she hears me or not. I will love her through her bad times and mine. She’s my angel, and I’ll do my part in her path.

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