June 2 2020 I was beaten. I was thrown, literally around the house, my body flying through the air more than once. This went on for 7 hours, and finally ended with 8 cops with AKs. This was not the only time that he hit me, it was the day it stopped.
This day, I grew the most strength I’ve ever had and pulled a gun on the man doing this. I held the gun on him and tried to get my daughter to safety, ironic, we should have been safe all along.
I then went to jail for 3 days, for defending my daughter and me against a man 6’ tall and 350 pounds.
I still suffer daily from pain from this. My neck and shoulders hurt me so bad I can barely move my neck some days.
The emotions attached are ok, I don’t have flash backs or nightmares any longer about what I thought was my twin flame. But this physical pain reminds me how bad ass I am and how far I will go to protect my children.
To hear him tell it, I’m crazy. He never laid a hand on me. He never threatened to hit my daughter in the face or call her racial slurs. He never even yelled at me. His kids can attest. Mine as well. His ex wife, and Oklahoma state has pics of the bruises he left on me. I no longer bother myself with what others believe mainly because of this man.
He would always tell me how stupid I was, how I wasn’t good, holy, the light. How my ideas were stupid and I was a shitty mom. He would yell at me for loving him, for trying to help him, all after he pretended to love me beyond this life and this world. Manipulation at its finest.
While I was sitting in the jail, a lady walked by and stopped. The most beautiful lady of melanin I had ever seen with blue eyes, dressed to a T in her uniform. She looked me in the eyes, after stopping mid stride and said some words I’ll never forget, “Who you are in your heart is who you are. Never let anyone tell you’re studio or not enough!” God send in those moments.
If you’re in abusive situation even if it’s not physically abusive, free yourself. Leave and take your babies and get far away. You don’t have to listen to anyone belittle you, yell, or otherwise abuse you. You are protected by the stars and if you leave, they got you! Don’t let fear keep you somewhere that’s not good for you, or your kids.
Reach out to someone you know you can trust; if you have no one; reach out to me.