These last couple of months have taken me far from home. They have also taken me deep within myself- and a lot has changed.
This is my life though- an ever evolving- ever growing journey of ascension. I adore this path- let’s get that clear first.
Last September I took it upon myself to face some fears of had forever. The home I was in- became less than wonderful- and cops were threatening to take me to jail because of someone else’s lack of parenting. In that home I was triggered often- and felt very unwelcome even though I paid most the bills.
In this life- my mother had moved us so much I never truly had a home. Or belongings. I just went. Up and left and up and left and up and moved again. I wanted a home. A steady, loving home for my child and I. So I found something small- that needed work- and I was all for it. After moving in- I learned it would take 10,000$ to have the place fixed properly up to living status- and the landlord lacked in caring what my child and I needed. On a whim- and at the behest of my soul- I moved 6 hours away with some ladies I knew for about a year.
As a baby I was involved with some things I won’t speak of today- but learning this opened new doorways inside me. These memories though- are very significant to my path- and I’m learning most every traumatic situation is. After moving 6 hours away- less than a month later- I find myself 4 hours away from there; the furthest north I’ve ever been and almost to the Canadian border.
I’m nervous about a lot of things, snow and winter for one- how will this turn out? Things have already gotten hectic and I find I’m a mirror- a tool- a vessel for truth. Everywhere I have been- I made the ugly come out of people and if this is my path- I’m here for it. However lonely- or gypsie like it is. Maybe I’m not meant for a home- maybe something spirit has in store is 10x better.
I found myself leaving that home- 6 hours from Kentucky- to go to a hotel in a town where I had no one. This isn’t the first time I’ve done this- and I had faith it would all be ok. 8 days I stressed and had faith- cried and was blessed- it took me through an array of emotions. Having nothing in savings- nothing to get food with except the work I did daily- and the friends I had save me.
8 days I pondered homelessness with my child- and what would happen. Would we end up on the streets? I had called shelter after shelter- Salvation Army, and 211. All the appropriate measures were taken- and yet nothing. I couldn’t rent a truck. Nothing was available to me, for me to drop off in another state- I definitely didn’t want to stay in Indiana. I tried to rent cars. Nothing would let me drop off in another area. I tried to get a bus. I couldn’t take my kitten. I had already- very heartbroken- walked away from one of my babies to have a safe place for my kid to sleep- the hotel was going to charge twice as much for two instead of one. I tried everything. I asked friends for help. The shelters were full. I was losing it all. It was so sad- and I lost all hope a couple of times. I couldn’t imagine the freezing cold- and the people having to sleep out side- with children.
I came so close but instead I was blessed. So many aren’t. So many are really starving and hurting right now- freezing to death- and society has gotten so self centered and selfish that they allow it to happen.
The things we go through- the bad times- the lacking times- the trauma- it’s so we can see how others feel. So we can find compassion for their lives and their problems and help them. Those memories I mentioned- of my childhood- those were unlocked in me so I’d use my power to rid the world of evil. This- my near homelessness event- awakening inside me a new passion- a homeless shelter I’ll possess and a new path to be taken.
Don’t fall at the feet of defeat and play victim. Stand up- and help others who are in your shoes. Help those who cannot eat tonight- who have no blanket for their children. Help those who won’t eat holiday meals with family- and be kind. You never know what someone is going through- it’s not always about the choices we make. I work in spirit- spirit leads and I follow. This path is beautiful- a disastrous mess and I’m here for it. Maybe I’m not meant for my own home- maybe I’m meant to bless every home I go to- maybe I’m meant to travel the country in an RV- and maybe I’ll be alright. I’m ready for whatever work spirit has planned out for me- and it’s a beautiful blessing even through the tragic times.
I’m an ordained minister and high priestess. Im opening my own shelter/spiritual ministry by this time next year. My hopes- to help those who need it- no matter what they have or don’t have- no matter what they have been through- no judgement. Just love. Pure unconditional- love and warmth.
Homeless for the Holidays is a go fund me fund raiser for the homeless- the sick- the hungry. I’ll at least have a soup kitchen by this time next year- with Spirit at my side- I’ll have my whole shelter for anyone who needs.