Why?

When you innerstand why all are the way they are- you don’t wish to see any thing bad happen to them. You don’t wish karma on them- and you don’t take pleasure in their pain. To know why, is a miracle and healing in itself.

We have, each and everyone of us, been lied to, cheated, stolen from, and manipulated for not just this life but several. By the matrix and the world- because we decided we needed this- we wanted to come here to this planet to learn.

I had a vision the other day- of A god like figure/creator type talking to another. They stood on a Mountie in side, and the stars behind them were just glorious. I watched as this Gandolf character said, “don’t talk to me like what you saw in that simulation was real.”

This was so awakening. I knew previously about the simulation but this put it right up there with a video game.

Everyone wants to scream- what about the pain and sufffering of this planet? What about the starving kids, the hungry vets? How can anyone be so cruel as to say these people are getting what they sowed? Well it’s true. Past lives hold a strong setting with where the next life begins.

I’m drawn to speak on the babies in Africa- and the people in Australia. It’s terrible when we are shown these little kids in Africa- barely enough fat to live- much less thrive. This people who suffer now- were most likely slave owners of a past life. This is how it works. Our past lives are like a chain, the links showing the drastic altering of each life.

I was a slave owners daughter. And I was a slave. I was shown both of these, and in this life I was literally held by a man of melanin, for 4 months- beat- and made to ge his slave. I no longer suffer what so ever from that period in my life. I innerstand where, why, how and all the details.

This life is all about what you choose to do, see, feel, and experience. When you don’t learn- karma will find you- even if it’s after you have passed and came back.

One way to tell who you were in a past life- if you haven’t done past life work- is to look at the vibration you were born into to. It’s said that the vibration you are born into- matches you in your most recent past life. I have seen this- in readings and sessions I’ve done.

Innerstanding brings peace. I wish you nothing but this on your journey.

Manifestings “whoa”

What no one talks about. Why can’t you manifest everything you desire? And why can’t you just make it happen now? And when you do manifest- what about keeping that manifestation in really? Without losing it? What’s really going on?

Your life- is determined by the steps you take daily- the decisions you make daily. Some people base what they do off the happiness of others. Some people do things for self satisfaction. Some people do things out of pure ugliness. Each person is still manifesting. Your deepest desires manifest- if you show the world one face- and are a different person behind closed doors- that’s a false truth you’re living and the universe won’t have this any longer. Light is being shone in the darkest places so change can happen.

When you are manifesting- the universe will make sure you’re ready for what you’re asking for (sometimes this comes as retrograde) and then you’ll be tempted by the old ways. It’ll be up to you to make the correct decisions to manifest the vibration you’re trying to be at to make that manifestation become a reality for you.

You’ve been conditioned over thousands of years to believe certain things about yourself. Things take time to unravel. Only when you’re in your truth can you begin to truly make changes in your life. This is the hardest part for some- victimizing self has become a trend.

What about if you lose what you thought you had? Well- you aren’t quite ready. You have more to learn- or- spirit has something better for you. This is often times the case when we lose jobs, homes, and lovers. After your healing- comes the crown. You’ll get it.

Focus on your spiritual journey for truth. Focus on helping to help- and loving to love. And your life will fall into place. How do you value your spiritual journey?

Sols Connection

Sitting here, outside at 4 am. The bugs chirping and what not- I seek connection with Gaia, with my higher self.

I’m surrounded by teaching energies and energies that tend to feel bittersweet. Reminding me of a time not so long ago- when I was in my head all the time. Self sabotaging to the point of mental disaster.

I often think of when this all began- bringing myself to a lifetime of sorrowful events- trying to determine when I began my healing. I see it’s been eons in the making- and this life and previous ones of recent had clouded my judgement and taken me from my sol. Looking back I always felt protected no matter where I went in this life as a child, no matter who I was with. I clung to the Idea of Jesus being with me at a very young age.

I found my connection to my sol again when I was 33. I have known several others whose path is similar to mine- and they hit that hard core true healing awakening opening up the crown at 33. Jesus was also one of these people.

I’ve found some will never awaken. Some will never heal. Some will always push the negative and force their will ok others- but if I focus on me- I can change the world.

I began shedding light at birth and I realize this now. The darkness was not a place of terror because I was the light. I was the protection.

When I think of others and their paths- I just hope I can in-lighten them some time what was stolen from me for so long. I just hope others feel that connection with spirit and the joy it brings me- in hopes they will begin helping themselves through Source.

How do you begin working with guides? I call them in everytime I shuffle my cards. Whatever you choose to use; pendulum, runes, cards, Ouija board, you must ask your spirit guides for messages for your highest good before getting your answer- I did this daily- repeatedly when I would read for others. Not only did I work with my spirit team- I had so many people call in their guides. We made connections everytime we asked for knowledge. This has completely changed my life. Now I ask for messages through my paintings- through my resin art- through all the work I do.

The spirit world is subtle. Very subtle and intuition comes through the heart. Most people I knew growing up had no heart- or appeared not to. I lived through that “ice box where my heart used to be” phase. Everyone is hardened and this is where the problem lies: In order to open you heart- you must feel all the emotions you’ve been pushing back for years and years on top of past life stuff.

It’s not easy. Not one likes it. Breathing through it, loving yourself through it- this is how it’s done.

I hope that my morning ramblings help someone align with their souls purpose today. I pray that someone will message me and ask me how to do it- to help them do it. So that they can be stronger, braver, happier.

Picture of a spider web in the power lines that I thought was totally rad.

Love and Darkness

Playing connect the dots. You ever do that? You’ll be trying to do something- washing the dishes and you start asking questions- then dots get connected?

I’m draw to share certain messages with whom ever happens to find them – so here goes. Deep breathe- this is deep dealing for me as well, please bare with any typos.

I met my ex. He was the man I’d been praying for- my Superman. His face was beautiful and angelic to me. When I met him- he was fascinated at my eyes and asked me “who are you?” often.

The third time I was with him- I was laying on the bed and he laid next to me. When I looked at him he freaked out a little bit and said there was someone in my eye- and they glared at him angrily. Never had I ever heard anyone tell me anything like this- my eyes have always been “beautiful” yet “mystic”. But never anything dark or evil seen in them.

It seemed when I moved in with him, things went haywire in his home. His daughter was seeing this darkness around the house, he was sensing it in his sleep. I never felt anything.

I need to jump back- to a previous time in this life. I lived a childhood rejected but my mother over and over again. I moved way way more than any child should ever have to move. 13 elementary schools I counted I went to. To give you an idea. My mom was only with me half the time, and I’d be left at peoples houses for weeks or more until she came back. Then, at 22 I was held against my will by the mans that fathered my child. 4 months. Beaten. Raped. Etc. By the time 2017 hit I was well aware of the suicidal ideations running through my mind daily. Depression took over. Ptsd. I was emotionally numb and I couldn’t sense any love except for my kid.

Finding out I had this darkness attached to me- and watching people see it manifest in myself and in our home- it bothered me badly.

I journeyed down the rabbit hole with Alice more than once. And the final straw with this darkness led to a heroic dose and an “exorcism”. He spoke love to it. Called it forth, because she could see it through my eyes he was able to see and call it- and he spoke love to it. He told it so many sweet and loving things. I remember I was laying on the bed, and I was shaking- vibrating roughly and I was shaking in my soul as well. In my mind I was laying in hell- alone and surrounded by evil things. Afraid and tortured I felt. I could barely hear my ex, but the words “call on the light” rang through to me very clearly. So I did. And I saw the light, and I was taken to places beauty doesn’t describe. Heaven?

Deep breathes. This is hard to type out for you guys- I pray you feel the e-motions I’m feeling as I type these words.

Learning about ego, shadow, and inner children I’m finding- I never had a demonic entity attached to me- I had part of me that was hurt, and lost, and needed love.

He says he saw a black cloud rise from my body- in my mind I see the same thing. How can this be?

Your ego comes online in the worst of the worst as a child around 5 to 7. Sometimes later- but I feel because of the childhood I had mine came on earlier. The ego is an energy of defense. It saved me when I needed it as a child- and through my life. The ego has its own little energy field, just like the inner child, and the shadow. They all have major purposes and you can even be perceived multiple personalities through this. (As well as past life energies). The ego, shadow, and inner child can cause chaos in your life. They can mess up all your manifestings. They can manifest as demonic entities- they be frightening.

Looking back at this, it’s by far my most spiritual experience ever. It’s the most powerful. When I was released from that darkness I remembered my souls oath, to fight evil for the light for eternity. And that has changed my life. That was one year ago. My spiritual awakening happed 7 years ago. The timeline is crazy. I chase this now. Crave this healing and light.

I did mushrooms a few more times, each time asking who and what I was. I was shown exactly what I am.

I support the use of mushrooms as a means to heal your body and soul. They are magick. As are you.

Past life mediations

Interested in knowing why you and your “twin” have had this experience in this life?

I listened to this meditation, outside Under a tree. It changed my life.

Make the intention that you experience the past lives you and this other person may have shared prior to this life. Use headphones for the best experience. Close your eyes and play the video.

If you have trouble visualizing, know that visualization is actually a psychic power that’s worked like a muscle. You have to develop it sometimes.

Silencing the mind can be hard for many. The ego is a great distractor. Affirmations help. “I surrender to this meditation”. Focusing on your breathe automatically stops the ego from talking.

Anytime you meditate you’re teaching your mind that you are in control. It’s a practiced skill. Do it with love for your journey- and eagerness for growth and you’ll develop it beautifully.

This is a long drawn out meditation. It’s a past life regression session. You can skip to about 10 minutes in and still get the same affect.

I’ve used this particular meditation several times and have been able to integrate things into this life, and I’m excited about it. Any meditation can be geared to your own personal intentions for growth.

Manifest Your Desires

Oooo I love the topic of manifesting! You can’t believe you’ll get what you want- you have to KNOW. If you doubt it, question it, wonder when you’ll get it- you’ll have to start over. Manifesting successfully is simply aligning to universe for your personal desires. We are supposed to be able to manifest on demand, but throughout the ages our powers have been killed and suppressed. There’s no reason to feel greedy or like you’re asking for too much. Simply have a pure heart while manifesting. Ask the universe and be thankful all I’m the same breath. Ways to manifest: ❤️ Facebook status. I have used Facebook to manifest for 2 years now. ❤️ journal. Write what you desire detailed and in past tense. ❤️ mala beads. Use beads and say your affirmations as you count the beads. ❤️ sex magick- your manifesting comes from your sacral chakra. Heal it. Work your magick in the sexual organs. Embrace all of who you are. ❤️ visualization. See in the minds eye what you want. Visualize it clearly and for about 10 minutes each day. Then get up and do something towards that goal, no matter how small. ❤️ vision boards. Cut out pics of what you want and make a collage on the wall. ❤️ music. Listen to music that supports the life you want. ❤️ magick. My absolute fave! When you manifest- you create from nothing out of the quantum realm. There’s no taking from another person, or imbalance in the universe if you ask for 10,000$ a month. The fabric of the universe is where everything comes from. Healing is important around this topic. Your ego, shadow, inner child all have an affect on how your manifestings come into fruition. You should check your energy daily prior to working on your manifesting.

The most important tip is to know what and who you are. You are source energy, God manifest into flesh. You have the powers to create any and all things. You control the energies around you. You create life when have children, or plant seeds. You are all powerful. REMEMBER.

There’s soooo much more!!

I run two subscriptions where I teach people spiritual truths and mystic secrets that change their lives. Join me on Facebook!

Divine Truth and Magick

Painful memories

These last few days are bringing up the worst of the worst traumatic memories for me. And also some bad triggers. I find I’m still extremely terrified of certain things- and the defense acts out as anger. I’m not ok energetically right now.

When I was 22 I drove my car a few towns over- to a house of stranger. I was giving this guy I had known about a week or two, a ride to his cousins house. We were trying to know each other. I thought he was a great guy. His demeanor was that of a computer geek with glasses and all.

He asked for a ride to his cousins house and so I took him. When I got there, my car totally broke down. At this time in my life I was acting in rebellion against everything I had been raised to believe. So my mom and family weren’t going to be there to help me- this is where my mind went.

The guy hit me the first time that same day. He slapped me 4 times across the face and stomped so hard on my right foot that it still is tender when it’s touched. That was 12 years ago. Everyday after became a living nightmare. I would be raped, beat, and terrorized daily for 4 months. He humiliated me, made me do sexual things with another females, burned me with a cigarette once, made me do everything for him- I was his slave.

The most prominent memories in my mind are of being choked up on the wall, feet swinging while seeing the devil in his eyes. He beat me so bad one time I was black and blue and purple for a month or more. He beat me after I found out I was pregnant, more than just a few times. This was a daily occurrence.

I woke up with a knife to my neck one night, because he dreamed I killed him.

One time he told me I could leave- and I went running to the neighbors house and he let me get half way through the yard before he chased me down and snatched me by my hair and drug me back into the house.

He let me call my mom once, and tell her what was going on. She sent a bus ticket for me to go to Louisiana with her. He was letting me leave then. I just knew it. When we got to the bus station he had me ask for the money for the ticket. When they wouldn’t give me the money- he wouldn’t let me leave.

This man would kill me. I knew it.

I drove to the house I was held captive in for 4 months. I willing went to this place. And then I wasn’t allowed to leave. He made his mother believe I was his girlfriend. He made his family believe I was his girlfriend. If I said anything other than that- I would be beat. Or worse. His mom and sister tried to warn me about him but there was nothing they could tell me. His mom even tried to get me an apartment at one period and told me he wouldn’t be allowed there. She couldn’t help me. No one could.

Tax season came. He had extra funds. He wanted to go to Panama City to Club la Vela with his friends. He took me with him to PC but left me at the hotel. While he and his friends were gone I hesitated to leave. I was home. This was my home town. My mom knew everyone here. I could get help. I knew it. But my mentally abused mind thought he might love me. I had never had love. Not from any one growing up, not that I actually remembered. It took him coming back with another female- for me to leave. He sent me to Walmart in the car. And I went the opposite direction. He really had me brainwashed so much that I pondered staying in the most nightmarish hellhole. No one deserves what I went through.

I’m working on healing this still. 4 months out of my life I was terrorized, beaten, and bruised. The crazy part? This is but one small piece to my story. Bare with me today as I pour these memories on the frontline for healing. Please send your healing to these memories. I deserve healing. ❤️🙏

  • I gave Birth to my daughter on my bday that year.

Remembering

It started two years ago- some might say- my deep awakening. But my true illusionary awakening was in 2014. This is when I learned of the world we truly live in and the lies held in the false truths of the news and media- the conditioning of the world- the lies of history. It was dark and heart breaking and I’d go through a whirlwind of emotions before becoming emotionally stable in 2019.

But two years ago I started my healing journey- healing myself and others. Now- two years after I’ve worked on myself/lost my mother/ moved 3 states: I’ve grown so much that I’m having a hand in others evolving daily and it fills my soul with light and love.

I wake up to messages that speak of shifting/growth/healing and it’s done at the whim of these healing hands. It’s a beautiful thing when someone comes to you in tears because of the truth you allowed them to see, and the spiritual work done; and it’s all I’ve wanted for so long. As long as I can remember- while diving into my own pool of sludge and pain- to just touch another soul and help them to feel better. I knew all to well the painful attacks of the mind in the dark- something I wouldn’t wish on anyone.

Divine Truth and Magick LLC is taking off and I’m here for it. I’m ready for life to shift and change on grand scales all around the universe. I’m ready for the light to take over and for the matrix to crumble- I’m here for it. I came here for just this reason and I’ve found my calling/passion/mission. Whatever label you wish: I’ll chase it. I’ll chase the healing of the planet/people/ and all that need love in this universe.

I remember who I am. I’m remembering who I am. I remember my power, my past lives, I integrate all day everyday. I’m working hard on me.

And Remembering.

Awakening

It was March of 2014.

A plane went missing over Malaysia. Y’all remember?

It just happened I worked at sonic with a J. Smith, conspiracy theorist; my manager. This man would set me on my awakening journey. He told all of us about the conspiracies around the news stories and why the plane went missing. The plane had some scientists on it that had invented a total hydro ran car, and it couldn’t be revealed. The powers that be wouldn’t allow it because it would mess up the oil industry, what ‘Merica is founded in.

He told me about 9/11 and some other things going on that I was blind to. I listened from a place deep down inside me, eager to know truth.

He sparked something in me, and it set off months and months worth of obsessive research into the hidden world of our government, national and global. I learned about the millions of caskets in fields all over, I learned how nano technology has its hand in control. The things I began learning were terrible, and The rabbit hole only got deeper.

I learned of so many things that shook my soul that eventually I hated America. I wanted to leave so bad. This country was ruined in my eyes and I saw no hope. I had to quit. I learned quite enough truth in all that, and saw it’s effects on humanity in our country that anxiety kicked in. Fear.

This bomb in my reality had a hand in me leaving my boyfriend at the time and moving in with my sister. I moved to Louisiana, where my sister introduced me to Islam. She gifted me some books that I began to read. My spirituality became the forefront of my life. Who was I? Why did I hurt so bad? Where did I come from? Why had life been so terrible and why did it seem I was cursed? I cried. For months. This was the first time my body had been free from chemicals like thc, alcohol, and cigarettes. I wasn’t eating pork, and I was reading the Quran with respect to the religion. Covered and doing prayers. This time would awaken my soul.

I spent a summer having the most realistic dreams I’ve ever had, some past life and some that came true the next day. I had a dream about who and what I was, Source. This time brought many people into my life, including some that would watch me, and guide me as I awakened fully. I learned I was empathic and feeling the pain of the planet, and humanity and that’s why I cried like I did in those days. I learned that I came from elsewhere and was not quite human.

Life picked up quickly after that summer and my own traumas began manifesting into deep depression, ptsd, and anxiety. I was buried in chemical meds and told I was crazy. The years that followed would lead me to mental wards, and psychologically conformed doctors appointments every other week.

Misery.

My magick called me. My higher self, my guides, my cards, my candles. It was 2019. March if I’m not mistaken when I learned about manifesting, enhanced my spiritual relationships, and found my self love. My tarot cards and how I read changed my soul. I became a witch.

Not long after that, my mom would pass away, and I’d venture to Oklahoma. This was where my second awakening happened, on heroic doses of mushrooms and traumatic violence.

Dark night of the soul, to the darkest and most evil degree. It woke up all my psychic powers though. It showed me what I was, that 6 months brought out a Goddess.

My awakening isn’t over. I’ve got one more step. It’s the chemical addiction in our things like foods and meds. Marijuana is a plant I’m dependent on, and that’s holding my evolution back. I’m excited to see the growth and power I have hidden within me.

This awakening stuff doesn’t happen instantly. It happens over time. Once you hit that first step, the conspiracy level, the one that shows you what your reality actually is, you’ll never go back unless you choose to. I’ve learned so much, I’ve gone from seeking answers from outside sources, doing my own research, and depending on others to learn the basics to feeling like I really don’t need answers from anyone but me. I am All. I’ve learned that all of the universe is within me, including a a goddess with the powers to create all she desires.

I know now, that it’s not just America. It’s the whole world, all of time, and everything we knew to be true when we were growing up. And my hatred has turned to compassion and love, I want to help others see the truth I see. The powers hidden within each of us are magnificent! The powers we have to manifest our realities are outstanding. This hasn’t been easy but it takes Truth to know yourself. You’re a god, that has been lied to, manipulated, and chemically drugged to feel like you’re a lot less than that. I say no more! I won’t allow myself to be manipulated and abused by the world, the powers that be, the 1%. I’m fighting back; By becoming the most healthy version of me in this life. ❤️

12 years strong

After being held against my will for 4 months and carrying my abusers child, I suffered terrible ptsd. It was years before I knew what the problem was. By the time I found out I had abused my child, as projection of my own pain. She had suffered because I was emotionally unavailable for her. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve loved my daughter from the moment I found out I was pregnant. I love my daughter more than anything in this world, but none the less, life lead us down a road of unhappy spaces between parks and pictures.

She was shut out, and I’m seeing now how it’s effected her. My guilt is slowly subsiding as I’m healing, but I find myself crying for the mother I could have been, had things been different. I honestly, thought for a second, I could try again and do it right. But I still was not healed how I need to be, to be a mother again.

But I get a chance to get it right with my daughter. I get a chance to explain, heal, and prepare her for what life may have in store. I get all the hugs I want, instead of telling her to get off me when I was aggravated all the time. I get to have those conversations that matter, between a mother and daughter.

Looking at her today, a summer away from being 12; with her own life, friends, and gf I’m blown away at the young woman I am raising. I’m so fucking proud of her. Through all the darkness she has seen, she still smiles; just like me. I see her beautiful soul shine bright and laughter fills the room, and I know I’m doing something right. I’ve done something right. The love was there whether I felt it or not, she did. It shows in how she glows now.

I swear to god I love myself

This was Easter 2017.

Before I would ever see those walls of the mental ward at the hospital in Monroe, before I knew why I was so angry all the time. Before I knew I had experienced trauma so bad that it effected my daily life (ptsd). It was before my dabbling with magick, and tarot. It was before most you were in my life. I was miserable on the inside but I managed to smile for others and spread my light. These were times when makeup made me feel pretty because I didn’t love myself. A darkness lingered close, and soon I would take 3 trips to the mental hospital after this, each for suicidal thoughts and actions.

This was before I knew myself, before I knew why I was here. This was before I understood why I had to go through all the pain.

I had literally moved to this home a week before this party. I moved in with my uncle and my mom. I had no clue what I was getting myself or my daughter into. I won’t go into details, but it was traumatic. My mom had moved from Florida and my kid missed her. I knew my mom might not have too many more years to live, and I packed everything to go states away because my kid wanted to go. I wasn’t happy either, so why not?

Those few years I lived in Louisiana were the hardest on me mentally. Those were my darkest days. They were also full of bad energy, and dramatically enhanced fights. I was homeless more than I have ever been in my life, I went without more than I had ever in my life. My daughter suffered in those years, the drama was so intense.

When my passed away Oct 1, 2019 I would move to Oklahoma. The entire energy changed, my entire outlook on life changed.

I managed to come from taking 7 meds, to none. From wanting to die, to loving life; even through the hardest times. I am so fucking proud of myself. These scars will always remind me of my lows, but my life will remind me of My willpower, and my ability to smile and love life through all I have been through are my greatest strengths.

Will you arise?

Freedom is my main concern, and yours is being manipulated to the finest degree. I came here, from another time and another place to remind you there’s a rebel in your blood. One who wouldn’t dare let another take anything much less your FREEDOM. A simple reminder, important still, to remember the past and who you are.

I came to remind you, you’re not mere human, but a God, walking this earth manifested to create. I came to remind you, Your power is Greater than you could imagine. Close your eyes and see yourself, a magnificent being, magickal and powerful.

I came to remind you, the time is now. It’s time to stand in your power and stand your ground. You have to remember, or you’ll wait too long, your power will dwindle, and the flame will be gone. Take time to think, let the chills fill your cells, for you know. It’s truth I tell.

It’s time to remember, who the real god is. When all you have is your hands and feet, when you’re beaten and down and can’t even speak, you only have one person and that person is you. Rise up, the Phoenix you are is emerging now! From the ashes claim your power and make your victory lap! It’s time to fight, in your life, your job, your school, your community for peace and justice.

It’s time to make a change and it starts today, it starts with you and it starts with me. I ask you, will you stand in your power? Will you walk away from abuse? Will you gain control of your life? Will you make the changes you need? Your freedom is on the line, although no cages threaten you. A prisoner to the pain, misfortune, a slave to the “game”, will you allow it to continue?

Lately it’s been bad…

I’m sitting here, high on pain meds when I hate the things.

Two weeks ago I found out I was pregnant. I was excited, and beyond myself with love for the universe. I had a miscarriage in May of 2018, and I had visions of my son. I was shown by the divine that I would have a beautiful baby boy, and he would be happy and healthy. Things weren’t what they seemed.

I started bleeding soon after and the dr appointments began soon after that. It wasn’t normal and they couldn’t find the baby. I had several vagina ultrasounds before they decided it was tubal.

The danger of a tubal pregnancy: as the baby grows, the tube will burst, leaving the mother to bleed out and experience terrible pain. It’s very deadly.

I was offered two options to terminate my pregnancy, methotrexate or have it surgically removed.

Me and methotrexate go back years, to 24 and psoriasis. I refused it then, and I refused it this time. The surgery would be 3 incisions. One on each side of my belly, and in my belly button. I would go under anesthesia, something I had never done.

My emotions were all over, and it was hard for me to function. The babies father wasn’t much help, no one could console me. I was numb and eventually no more tears could come. My second baby lost, my second baby that I never got to hold. My heart broke for me, for my daughter; for the tiny love that didn’t make it, for all the mothers who had ever gone through this. My heart is still breaking.

It’s been 2 days since my surgery and I’m having good moments and bad. My body hurts, and I’m exhausted. But I have found hope and faith in the coming blessings.

I am well aware that everything happens for a reason, and I’m certain this is no different. I can ponder the idea; what if my baby had been born with a genetic defect; or what if something else bad could have happened and this is really a blessing in disguise.

I know my love; my heart; and my soul. I know that this was not to punish me, or hurt me. This happened so that something better could happen, for me or another.

I will smile, and be grateful for all that I do have, and for my beautiful daughter. I will smile and know, that I am loved, and I have loved. I will smile, and I will praise very mother I come across.

We are warriors. Walking miracles. Portals from the spirit world, to the physical. We are magick, we are grace. I love each of you, my sisters. And I honour you fathers as well.

The pain is bad for you, I know this too. It’s not just the mother that loses the baby, the fathers hearts break just the same. ❤️

Leave

June 2 2020 I was beaten. I was thrown, literally around the house, my body flying through the air more than once. This went on for 7 hours, and finally ended with 8 cops with AKs. This was not the only time that he hit me, it was the day it stopped.

This day, I grew the most strength I’ve ever had and pulled a gun on the man doing this. I held the gun on him and tried to get my daughter to safety, ironic, we should have been safe all along.

I then went to jail for 3 days, for defending my daughter and me against a man 6’ tall and 350 pounds.

I still suffer daily from pain from this. My neck and shoulders hurt me so bad I can barely move my neck some days.

The emotions attached are ok, I don’t have flash backs or nightmares any longer about what I thought was my twin flame. But this physical pain reminds me how bad ass I am and how far I will go to protect my children.

To hear him tell it, I’m crazy. He never laid a hand on me. He never threatened to hit my daughter in the face or call her racial slurs. He never even yelled at me. His kids can attest. Mine as well. His ex wife, and Oklahoma state has pics of the bruises he left on me. I no longer bother myself with what others believe mainly because of this man.

He would always tell me how stupid I was, how I wasn’t good, holy, the light. How my ideas were stupid and I was a shitty mom. He would yell at me for loving him, for trying to help him, all after he pretended to love me beyond this life and this world. Manipulation at its finest.

While I was sitting in the jail, a lady walked by and stopped. The most beautiful lady of melanin I had ever seen with blue eyes, dressed to a T in her uniform. She looked me in the eyes, after stopping mid stride and said some words I’ll never forget, “Who you are in your heart is who you are. Never let anyone tell you’re studio or not enough!” God send in those moments.

If you’re in abusive situation even if it’s not physically abusive, free yourself. Leave and take your babies and get far away. You don’t have to listen to anyone belittle you, yell, or otherwise abuse you. You are protected by the stars and if you leave, they got you! Don’t let fear keep you somewhere that’s not good for you, or your kids.

Reach out to someone you know you can trust; if you have no one; reach out to me.

Gmail. Divinetruthandmagick@gmail.com

Inner Child

As a little child my mom would leave me randomly for long periods of time, often with people I was not comfortable around. I remember when I was 5 spending the summer cleaning someone else’s home while my mom was idk where.

These spurts of abandonment effected me very deeply as a small kid. I would have nightmares about my mother often, and they would repeat. I would be looking for her, and looking and looking and sometimes I would find her. Once she was in a shack in the woods, and tried to cut off my fingers. This dream began when I was 3 maybe….

The last time I remember being away from my mother was that summer. Previous to that I had spent 10 months with my grandma in another town and a few months with my father before that. 3 and 4 years old I was being rejected by my mother. Pawned off and left to wonder why? Was I not good enough? Did she not love me? What did I do to deserve that?

Those times are dark and mysterious, and I’m thankful I can’t remember them all. Today, I pray my kid never has to feel that way about me. I pray she knows deep down that I will do anything to keep her by my side.

These nightmares I have about losing my kid, they are directly related to my mother and these childhood memories.

I know now that my mother was hurt, bad and addicted to her lifestyle in order to survive through her own trauma. My heart forgives her but why can’t I get past the nightmares? In my dreams now it’s me losing my kid. Not me leaving my kid. Or abandoning her. It’s a fear of not having her with me. Because I wasn’t with my mom, but it seems I’m logical enough that this shouldn’t hurt me anymore. My inner child needs so much love today.

I need so much love today.

I send infinite amounts of reiki and love and light to every version of me in the infinite now. I send the angels to protect me through whatever I may be going through; past present or future. I love you Tiffany.

A BEAUTIFUL SUNRISE

🌬🌲 The beauty of the morning has me in awe. I sat under the trees and heard the birds singing as I watched the sky change from Dark to Bright. The colors of the sky mesmerize me.

I sat there, repeating affirmations and making intentions as I planted my feet to the ground … I invoked the universe.

She whispered so sweetly as I heard the beautiful songs of the birds.. and She said:

We started from one. All creatures in this universe, the planets and entities within it, we started from One..

As I looked at the colors in the sky and the birds flying by, I felt a oneness and gratitude beyond this life. Tears rolled down my face as I thanked the universe for that.. but then I asked for more.

What is light? Light is Soul the universe said..

Did we come from light?
The light came from the darkness, we started out as No-Thing.. all black darkness and from that sprang life.

The beautiful part, we all did this, this beautiful life and all its creations.. we, The Creator.

Divine Truth

When I thank the universe it’s funny because it ends up being that I’m thanking myself. To know that I am all, and that I thank the universe for the blessings in my life, I’m actually thanking myself for the hard work that I put in right? So if I am all and all of the universe is within me I am Source energy I am God basically what I pray I’m praying to me. Those of you those of you who say that there’s a higher power above me and then I’m not God, and that I’m delusional; have you studied manifesting? Have you looked into how things are brought into your life and intentions and your words that manifest and you are thoughts that manifest?  Have you considered that may be the reason you’re not getting the things that you think you need or the things that you think you want or because you’re praying to the wrong person? For me to say that I am goddess call triggers a lot of people. But you have to realize who I am, I follow no religion, Also no standards, your version of right and wrong do not apply to me. And it should be that way for you…  And I am Goddess. And I claim all of the power of the universe. The thing about this is you too are Goddess or God, manifesting your life through your vibration and your beliefs. You can no longer say that anything that happens to you as a result of anything outside of you because you are all. You must take accountability for the stuff that you’ve taken into the actions that have gotten you where you are now and if you’re not happy with where you are now you need to move forward and change things because you’re in power nobody else can take your power. You have the power to change everything about your life as long as you have patience, drive, motivation, and Faith in you!

Have you ever made something? Created from nothing but an image in your mind? Have you ever dwelled in the negative and saw the negative energy that manifests in your life because of that? I know damn well I have. I created a whole human being! KINDA GODDESS LIKE TO ME.

Accept what you are and let the ideas what you thought was true fall away. Allow magick to happen for you when you jump out of the matrix. Put that bible down and listen to your soul, or read it from the view of God. 👏

We are magickal and they fear the day you learn that.. who is they? Most people. Bevause then you’ll shine like a mother fucker and thet will be fearful.. of your power, success, growth. Let it all go… become what you’re meant to be.

❤😭🥺

My daughter said some words to me this morning that touched my soul. It was freezing, and she had watched me cry over the pain in my neck… I was so uncomfortable but still playing with her, and making her smile..

She said, “Mama, thank you for all you have done for me.” Tears… I asked her what she meant, and she said her whole life, everything. ❤😭

I found what I thought was the love of my life in 2019. The energy and love was insane but as we are balance, the darker parts of that relationship were quite dark. She went through some abuse and its effects her still. For 6 months I allowed this to go on and then finally got away. No one in this life has been able to touch the love I felt from that man… but I walked away for my kid.

My Family, listen when I tell you this. Your kids will thank you for leaving that abusive house. They are being effected too. Your kids will see the love you have for them if you leave.. They will see how much you want them to live a life without abuse. They will love you more for it.

Walking away from what you think you need, to protect and love your babies opens you up to the blessings of the universe. Walk away. Without a thing, get on the school bus with your kid.. walk out the door while the abuser is asleep. There are shelters, motels, and people out here who will help you, leave. For peace, for love, for your babies. This goes for men and women, and for those who don’t yet have kids. Free Thyself.

Meditation

Meditation is alot easier than most people would care to admit. Visualization isn’t hard, it’s natural, burned into us. It’s how we work all the time. When you close your eyes and you’re told to visualize something, you may no see anything with your two physical eye balls. Sometimes, some people do say they see colorful visions and things. When I meditate, I think I associate it more with my intuition. I feel things rather than see them, if that makes sense. It’s the same when I do guide readings or card readings. I’m feeling energy. It’s important also, to know that just bc you don’t stay focused doesn’t mean it’s not working.

Easiest forms of meditations that I find are guided meditations online or on youtube. You can search a guided meditation for any and all purposes. You can grow your psychic powers through meditation, you can build relationships with guides through meditating. Use meditation to find yourself, the inner you that’s craving to escape the bars of limitations, the one whose overcame so much and now has so much to give. Mediation can change your life. You will get a handle on it if you keep at it and know you’re working towards a goal.

To start with, most will tell you to sit or lay down, I like to lay down.. I can’t comfortably sit and meditate normally, I’m not sure why. Use some earbuds for best effects when doing guided meditations or listening to music. There’s stigma around falling asleep while mediating, I find it’s quite relaxing. Lol.

Most of the time, the second instruction is to focus on your breathe. Breathing techniques are different in each one, and you can Google breathing techniques and adapt as you go. Different techniques will open different doors for you. When you’re meditating and you’re being drawn to thought or find it hard bc you can’t stay focused, don’t lose hope. This is normal. Your body works off its own programming. You’re retaining your body to listen to you, not the cycles it’s been adjusted to. When you find this happening, just come back to your breathe. Each time you meditate and you’re doing this, you’re growing in your control of yourself. Don’t give up.

Practice for just 5 mins to start with. Meditate on one word, something you want to bring into your life. Focus on a period in the future that would bring this one word to you. Create a fantasy of it coming to you, and hold onto that feeling.

It’s important when visualizing that you do it in futuristic terms. You’re moving from living in the past to creating a future. This is one of the keys to Manifesting.

An example of this would something like soulful connections. If I was to focus on soulful connections and imagine myself meeting all these grand people, all these souls I feel a strong connection to, and hold that thought for 5 mins, the universe will start conspiring to the chemicals my brain produces during that 5 mins. The visuals may change and shift, and that’s usually fine with me. My Meditations usually play like slide shows and they work well for me. When you want to bring it back to the breathe is when you start thinking about things that don’t pertain to your meditation.

One thing you should do, is look into the side effects of meditating. Google and read some things that will help you learn to better help yourself along your path.