Hectic Journeys

These last couple of months have taken me far from home. They have also taken me deep within myself- and a lot has changed.

This is my life though- an ever evolving- ever growing journey of ascension. I adore this path- let’s get that clear first.

Last September I took it upon myself to face some fears of had forever. The home I was in- became less than wonderful- and cops were threatening to take me to jail because of someone else’s lack of parenting. In that home I was triggered often- and felt very unwelcome even though I paid most the bills.

In this life- my mother had moved us so much I never truly had a home. Or belongings. I just went. Up and left and up and left and up and moved again. I wanted a home. A steady, loving home for my child and I. So I found something small- that needed work- and I was all for it. After moving in- I learned it would take 10,000$ to have the place fixed properly up to living status- and the landlord lacked in caring what my child and I needed. On a whim- and at the behest of my soul- I moved 6 hours away with some ladies I knew for about a year.

As a baby I was involved with some things I won’t speak of today- but learning this opened new doorways inside me. These memories though- are very significant to my path- and I’m learning most every traumatic situation is. After moving 6 hours away- less than a month later- I find myself 4 hours away from there; the furthest north I’ve ever been and almost to the Canadian border.

I’m nervous about a lot of things, snow and winter for one- how will this turn out? Things have already gotten hectic and I find I’m a mirror- a tool- a vessel for truth. Everywhere I have been- I made the ugly come out of people and if this is my path- I’m here for it. However lonely- or gypsie like it is. Maybe I’m not meant for a home- maybe something spirit has in store is 10x better.

Homeless for the Holidays

I found myself leaving that home- 6 hours from Kentucky- to go to a hotel in a town where I had no one. This isn’t the first time I’ve done this- and I had faith it would all be ok. 8 days I stressed and had faith- cried and was blessed- it took me through an array of emotions. Having nothing in savings- nothing to get food with except the work I did daily- and the friends I had save me.

8 days I pondered homelessness with my child- and what would happen. Would we end up on the streets? I had called shelter after shelter- Salvation Army, and 211. All the appropriate measures were taken- and yet nothing. I couldn’t rent a truck. Nothing was available to me, for me to drop off in another state- I definitely didn’t want to stay in Indiana. I tried to rent cars. Nothing would let me drop off in another area. I tried to get a bus. I couldn’t take my kitten. I had already- very heartbroken- walked away from one of my babies to have a safe place for my kid to sleep- the hotel was going to charge twice as much for two instead of one. I tried everything. I asked friends for help. The shelters were full. I was losing it all. It was so sad- and I lost all hope a couple of times. I couldn’t imagine the freezing cold- and the people having to sleep out side- with children.

I came so close but instead I was blessed. So many aren’t. So many are really starving and hurting right now- freezing to death- and society has gotten so self centered and selfish that they allow it to happen.

The things we go through- the bad times- the lacking times- the trauma- it’s so we can see how others feel. So we can find compassion for their lives and their problems and help them. Those memories I mentioned- of my childhood- those were unlocked in me so I’d use my power to rid the world of evil. This- my near homelessness event- awakening inside me a new passion- a homeless shelter I’ll possess and a new path to be taken.

Don’t fall at the feet of defeat and play victim. Stand up- and help others who are in your shoes. Help those who cannot eat tonight- who have no blanket for their children. Help those who won’t eat holiday meals with family- and be kind. You never know what someone is going through- it’s not always about the choices we make. I work in spirit- spirit leads and I follow. This path is beautiful- a disastrous mess and I’m here for it. Maybe I’m not meant for my own home- maybe I’m meant to bless every home I go to- maybe I’m meant to travel the country in an RV- and maybe I’ll be alright. I’m ready for whatever work spirit has planned out for me- and it’s a beautiful blessing even through the tragic times.

I’m an ordained minister and high priestess. Im opening my own shelter/spiritual ministry by this time next year. My hopes- to help those who need it- no matter what they have or don’t have- no matter what they have been through- no judgement. Just love. Pure unconditional- love and warmth.

https://gofund.me/9fa5b519

Homeless for the Holidays is a go fund me fund raiser for the homeless- the sick- the hungry. I’ll at least have a soup kitchen by this time next year- with Spirit at my side- I’ll have my whole shelter for anyone who needs.

The man I called father.

The man I called Father.

He was so abused as a child that his grandma had him taking Valium at 5 years old. I was told his mother was abusive to the point of putting shitty diapers in his face. Makes me wonder what she went through.

There’s only few memories of this man in my Akashic- and those are times when he was an only option. I remember seeing him at age 4- my mom was dropping us off with him. He broke his arm moving a Piano trying to make some money to feed my sister and me.

I remember living with him for a short time in 3rd grade. Snow cones. He always bought me a snow cone when the ice cream truck came around. I remember thinking he had no clue what to do with my sister and I. He made us go to bed before dark. I remember watching Red Holland with him- at 5 am in the morning and being astonished he was drinking tea and not beer. I remember he took me crabbing- and I got bit. I remember him loving me. If for only a short time. He wasn’t around because my mother cussed him out. She was a drug addict and made him feel bad for not paying child support. She had us calling him out sperm donor. Irish and Native American- he got checks from the government for his native blood.

This isn’t my blood father. I learned this when I had my dna and was shown no Native American blood- and no Irish. The look in his eyes- when he didn’t know what to do with me was legit. I wasn’t his. And I see that now.

No matter though- before his death at my tender age of 17 I called him dad. I got to know him in his last few months- more than I had. He tried to tell me of the false truths that my life held- but he didn’t know how. I see that now. He came to me/ not long ago in a vision with my mom.

“We did exactly what you needed for your soul to wake up. When will you see we held our contracts?”

This hurt me and brought me peace. I forgive. Both the parents and the step parents who tried to raise me. I see now. It had to be this way. I love you Rickey- I love you like my father and I appreciate all you taught me.

One more memory before I go. Thanksgiving- 4th grade- my dad playing “where the green grass grows” on his guitar. I love country music but only in spurts.

I love this man. He died when I was 17, Oct 6 2003. We celebrated the life of my mother on the anniversary of his death. Both my parents have taken October’s memories and tied them up in their deaths. It’s anew beginning and I’m not crying. I’m celebrating. All I am. All I will become. I release both these people from any pain associated with their lives or deaths in my eyes. I appreciate the lessons they have offered me and I accept the life they gave me. I love you. I release you. ❤️🙏

Beautiful Dreams

Our dreams are very important in our spiritual journey. I find mine are more vivid and clear when I’m sleeping in an empty stomach- and not using too much THC.

This morning- just before waking I saw these beautiful plants- dancing their way through photosynthesis- and I saw smaller ones and bigger ones. The energy was very green and most beautiful- with loving fae like stars. The trees were swaying and moving and I watched as someone came by- and they possessed the light- what I saw resembled the heart chakra energy. They did not hold this light- but they held it in their heart.

The trees followed the light- they embraced what it had to offer them- and they loved the light. It was so beautiful- and my dear friends energy was also with me during this dream- I felt her, at my side.

I have recently moved- and I find myself in my first real place that’s mine and no one else’s. I don’t have roommates. I don’t have other peoples energies to transmute. I have my own space- and it’s beautiful. My past tried to keep me from this- throwing fears my way. Reminding me of the perceived failures of my mother, my mothers mother. And my higher self speaks up- “you’re breaking here national curses” as I rise from the ashes of chains that held me back for so long. But now I’m here. It’s time to show my soul lineage the work I’m prepared to do for our healing.

The place I was put in- has been in need of light and love. The energies were dark. My cat got sick. The town was well known for its cancerous toxicities. The graveyard across the way holds energies that needed releasing, souls that wanted to cross over. The abandoned home across the street- evil and dark in its presence.

I’ve been sending love and healing into Gaia for the last few days. I focus on her healing, the release of her pains in this area. I honour all the spirits that belong to this land- and call forth the ancestors of this land to assist in its healing. This is my mission now.

To have a dream of this proportion makes me feel like Gaia feels me. She sees me. And she sees my light.

A tiny mushroom growing by the entry way too my home. ❤️✨

I am

I am my Mother, in all her grace. A healer, and charmer, she carried her broken heart as well as she could. So proud to be her, so much power in her words. I am my Mother.

I am my Father, his musical soul, a guitar on my knee and a song in my heart. I am his wisdom and all his love. I am his best, his power, and his trauma.

I am my Sister and ln all her ignorance, we have ll been here before.. Absolute certainty of knowledge of all, before we knew shit. I am my sister, in all her love and forgiveness, in all her ups and all her downs.

I am my Brother, in all his strength, and all his fearlessness. I am his sorrow and his resentments. I am his confusion and all his weakness. I am his protection, his warrior streak.

I am My Daughter in all her worry, and all her fear. I am my daughter, and all her dreams of the future. I am my daughter, with love in her eyes and faith in her heart, I am her happiness and pure joy, I am her innocence and all her laughter.

I am my friends. In all their love, they stretch their wings. We are one in the same my loves. I am their pain, their loss, their fears and their tears. I am their uncertainty, their unknowing.. I am my friends smiles and happy tears as well. I am Them.

I am this planet, in all its changes, in all the growth and all the famine. I am that I am. A goddess foreseen.

I am the sky, in all her glory, the moon in and the stars floating by. I am the clouds in all their secrets, and the rain in all its beauty.

I am the light, coming back to Me. Unity. Oneness. I am That I Am. I am freedom. I am Love. ❤️

Tiffany Powell

What Manipulation Looks Like

While I explain what these are- innerstand we are surrounded by reflections of self. Each person around you is a reflection of the inner self you have yet to acknowledge and heal. I myself have seen my abusive self- and am aware that I can be that way. I choose better and no it’s not that hard to decide to be better- so you don’t hurt others along your journey, intentionally or unintentionally.

This made me think of being a kid- and molestation. Most people who manipulate children like that- they love them. Gift them things- pet them and show them extra attention. Make them feel “special”.
All my life- but then I realized I was lying to myself about being a victim.
You’re not alone- absolutely every human being has these qualities- we are all good and bad- it’s about what you choose to allow- after awareness in others towards you- and yourself to others.

Most of us are blind to our own behaviors or those of others because we are so conditioned. It takes someone pointing it out- showing us it isn’t right- to see it and change it. Some won’t change it. Some hope you never find out.

When removing yourself from a situation no longer serving you- friends who treat you like this- lovers- etc- you can call upon several for help. Each state will have help set up, Facebook and social media platforms can help you, you can call upon the sol (soul) family that supports you. I am willing to help anyone- with magick and other sources- if you need me my contact info is here on this site.

There is no reason to remain somewhere that’s not good for you, for your kids, for your future. Be it a job, a friendship, relationship, town- it doesn’t matter. Move. Make changes. You Can do it- people do it daily.

Conditioning is real. You can act just like your abuser without even knowing it. We are all one- choose love so we all feel love.

My Mom Was Hurt

Today- two years ago my mother passed. The energies are decent right now and I’m not crying. I feel an odd peace about today- where I should be upset and still grieving.

I grieve daily- in my own way. I honor my mother in all she did and didn’t do- as part of keeping her contracts to me on a soul level. Although she wasn’t what is perceived as a good mother- she was just what I needed.

She was strong- brave- and used her voice- even if she did so aggressively. She was a warrior in her times- a long with her mother and the one who came before her. My mother came from a line of poor, abused women- who moved ridiculous amounts of time to escape the clutches of darkness.

Shes healing through my healing and I feel that. I didn’t become the healer I am today until after my mother passed. I cried and cried- knowing I’d help so many- but not her. I was so wrong- because I feel her daily. I am her- and she is me. I carry her with me- and as I heal- I’m healing her. As I honour my sacred feminine- I honour hers.

My mother was abused from birth by a step dad who hated her. Her first broke bone was at 8 months old- she was told she had been thrown across the room. She was molested by the step dad and uncles- she was raped and beat by the men she chose.

Today I feel her healing- I feel her brightness and light. I feel her pride in what I’ve done- for our whole family- the curses I’m taking on and breaking- she’s going to do better in future lives because of me, and the work I’m doing in our family.

Patricia Gail Powell June 11, 1964- October 1 2019 May you heal my love.

Not only did I lose my mother oct 1- but I lost my father- or the only man I knew as father- Oct 6, 2003- and we did my mothers Celebration of Life the day he passed- his birthday is Oct 13. This season is full of crazy, loving, sad, painful memories and I’m embracing each one as they come. I won’t fold, I won’t fail at this healing. I’m healing for both of them- and their parents, and the parents that came before them.

It no longer matters, the pain they caused or the lies they told- what matters is the truth they see through me, through the actions I’ve transmuted- through the condoning I’ve released. I love them both- and honor them today and always as the Ones Who Showed Me The Way.

Rickey Powell Rest In Power

Today- I forgive. Totally and utterly anything I’ve yet to innerstand on this journey- around my immediate family- I forgive because I get it. I had to go through all of what I went through to get here- to this point on this path. I pray you can find it in your heart to release what ever might be holding you back today- so you can reach the healing you deserve- for you, for your children, for your family.

Peace be with you.

Mercury What!?

Sept 26 began the last stretch of Mercury’s cruel magick. We are the words “Mercury Retrograde” and most of us cringe with worry and dread.

Mercury Retrograde isn’t an enemy- or cruel joke. It’s the planets moving to see if you’re ready to let go and move on to the next journey.

If you speak something- you tell god or the universe- (however you choose to portray your faith) then the universe will use this time to test you- go see your true growth. And your responses/reactions will determine the next cycle.

Most of us are breaking generational curses passed down from generation to generation based in evil, hate, sexual traumas, stability, lack and it’s hard. It’s not easy to just unravel the veil one day and day it’s done. We walk these cycles, that are bound in our dna- and as we break them we break years of chains.

By embracing Mercury Retrograde and what it has to show you- you can grow and begin to release conditioning and pain. I’n struggling today- my mother will be gone 2 years tomorrow. Im currently vegetarian- I want a hamburger so bad. I want a margarita. I want to smooth the pain but instead I’ll sit in it. I’ll feel it and honor it and not step back on my journey.

I won’t drink or smoke my problems and healings away- I won’t eat that hamburger- because I know what it will do to my body. I won’t scream- fight- ask why and play victim because I know all to well why. I’ll sit. Quietly- and wait for spirit to move for me. Until I know better how to act in these energies.

Reacting and responding are two different things. I’m choosing to respond to this retrograde with love and innerstanding for myself, my path, it’s path, and it’s mission. May you also- see the truth in this tool we are currently using. Many blessings.

Why?

When you innerstand why all are the way they are- you don’t wish to see any thing bad happen to them. You don’t wish karma on them- and you don’t take pleasure in their pain. To know why, is a miracle and healing in itself.

We have, each and everyone of us, been lied to, cheated, stolen from, and manipulated for not just this life but several. By the matrix and the world- because we decided we needed this- we wanted to come here to this planet to learn.

I had a vision the other day- of A god like figure/creator type talking to another. They stood on a Mountie in side, and the stars behind them were just glorious. I watched as this Gandolf character said, “don’t talk to me like what you saw in that simulation was real.”

This was so awakening. I knew previously about the simulation but this put it right up there with a video game.

Everyone wants to scream- what about the pain and sufffering of this planet? What about the starving kids, the hungry vets? How can anyone be so cruel as to say these people are getting what they sowed? Well it’s true. Past lives hold a strong setting with where the next life begins.

I’m drawn to speak on the babies in Africa- and the people in Australia. It’s terrible when we are shown these little kids in Africa- barely enough fat to live- much less thrive. This people who suffer now- were most likely slave owners of a past life. This is how it works. Our past lives are like a chain, the links showing the drastic altering of each life.

I was a slave owners daughter. And I was a slave. I was shown both of these, and in this life I was literally held by a man of melanin, for 4 months- beat- and made to ge his slave. I no longer suffer what so ever from that period in my life. I innerstand where, why, how and all the details.

This life is all about what you choose to do, see, feel, and experience. When you don’t learn- karma will find you- even if it’s after you have passed and came back.

One way to tell who you were in a past life- if you haven’t done past life work- is to look at the vibration you were born into to. It’s said that the vibration you are born into- matches you in your most recent past life. I have seen this- in readings and sessions I’ve done.

Innerstanding brings peace. I wish you nothing but this on your journey.

Manifestings “whoa”

What no one talks about. Why can’t you manifest everything you desire? And why can’t you just make it happen now? And when you do manifest- what about keeping that manifestation in really? Without losing it? What’s really going on?

Your life- is determined by the steps you take daily- the decisions you make daily. Some people base what they do off the happiness of others. Some people do things for self satisfaction. Some people do things out of pure ugliness. Each person is still manifesting. Your deepest desires manifest- if you show the world one face- and are a different person behind closed doors- that’s a false truth you’re living and the universe won’t have this any longer. Light is being shone in the darkest places so change can happen.

When you are manifesting- the universe will make sure you’re ready for what you’re asking for (sometimes this comes as retrograde) and then you’ll be tempted by the old ways. It’ll be up to you to make the correct decisions to manifest the vibration you’re trying to be at to make that manifestation become a reality for you.

You’ve been conditioned over thousands of years to believe certain things about yourself. Things take time to unravel. Only when you’re in your truth can you begin to truly make changes in your life. This is the hardest part for some- victimizing self has become a trend.

What about if you lose what you thought you had? Well- you aren’t quite ready. You have more to learn- or- spirit has something better for you. This is often times the case when we lose jobs, homes, and lovers. After your healing- comes the crown. You’ll get it.

Focus on your spiritual journey for truth. Focus on helping to help- and loving to love. And your life will fall into place. How do you value your spiritual journey?

Sols Connection

Sitting here, outside at 4 am. The bugs chirping and what not- I seek connection with Gaia, with my higher self.

I’m surrounded by teaching energies and energies that tend to feel bittersweet. Reminding me of a time not so long ago- when I was in my head all the time. Self sabotaging to the point of mental disaster.

I often think of when this all began- bringing myself to a lifetime of sorrowful events- trying to determine when I began my healing. I see it’s been eons in the making- and this life and previous ones of recent had clouded my judgement and taken me from my sol. Looking back I always felt protected no matter where I went in this life as a child, no matter who I was with. I clung to the Idea of Jesus being with me at a very young age.

I found my connection to my sol again when I was 33. I have known several others whose path is similar to mine- and they hit that hard core true healing awakening opening up the crown at 33. Jesus was also one of these people.

I’ve found some will never awaken. Some will never heal. Some will always push the negative and force their will ok others- but if I focus on me- I can change the world.

I began shedding light at birth and I realize this now. The darkness was not a place of terror because I was the light. I was the protection.

When I think of others and their paths- I just hope I can in-lighten them some time what was stolen from me for so long. I just hope others feel that connection with spirit and the joy it brings me- in hopes they will begin helping themselves through Source.

How do you begin working with guides? I call them in everytime I shuffle my cards. Whatever you choose to use; pendulum, runes, cards, Ouija board, you must ask your spirit guides for messages for your highest good before getting your answer- I did this daily- repeatedly when I would read for others. Not only did I work with my spirit team- I had so many people call in their guides. We made connections everytime we asked for knowledge. This has completely changed my life. Now I ask for messages through my paintings- through my resin art- through all the work I do.

The spirit world is subtle. Very subtle and intuition comes through the heart. Most people I knew growing up had no heart- or appeared not to. I lived through that “ice box where my heart used to be” phase. Everyone is hardened and this is where the problem lies: In order to open you heart- you must feel all the emotions you’ve been pushing back for years and years on top of past life stuff.

It’s not easy. Not one likes it. Breathing through it, loving yourself through it- this is how it’s done.

I hope that my morning ramblings help someone align with their souls purpose today. I pray that someone will message me and ask me how to do it- to help them do it. So that they can be stronger, braver, happier.

Picture of a spider web in the power lines that I thought was totally rad.

Love and Darkness

Playing connect the dots. You ever do that? You’ll be trying to do something- washing the dishes and you start asking questions- then dots get connected?

I’m draw to share certain messages with whom ever happens to find them – so here goes. Deep breathe- this is deep dealing for me as well, please bare with any typos.

I met my ex. He was the man I’d been praying for- my Superman. His face was beautiful and angelic to me. When I met him- he was fascinated at my eyes and asked me “who are you?” often.

The third time I was with him- I was laying on the bed and he laid next to me. When I looked at him he freaked out a little bit and said there was someone in my eye- and they glared at him angrily. Never had I ever heard anyone tell me anything like this- my eyes have always been “beautiful” yet “mystic”. But never anything dark or evil seen in them.

It seemed when I moved in with him, things went haywire in his home. His daughter was seeing this darkness around the house, he was sensing it in his sleep. I never felt anything.

I need to jump back- to a previous time in this life. I lived a childhood rejected but my mother over and over again. I moved way way more than any child should ever have to move. 13 elementary schools I counted I went to. To give you an idea. My mom was only with me half the time, and I’d be left at peoples houses for weeks or more until she came back. Then, at 22 I was held against my will by the mans that fathered my child. 4 months. Beaten. Raped. Etc. By the time 2017 hit I was well aware of the suicidal ideations running through my mind daily. Depression took over. Ptsd. I was emotionally numb and I couldn’t sense any love except for my kid.

Finding out I had this darkness attached to me- and watching people see it manifest in myself and in our home- it bothered me badly.

I journeyed down the rabbit hole with Alice more than once. And the final straw with this darkness led to a heroic dose and an “exorcism”. He spoke love to it. Called it forth, because she could see it through my eyes he was able to see and call it- and he spoke love to it. He told it so many sweet and loving things. I remember I was laying on the bed, and I was shaking- vibrating roughly and I was shaking in my soul as well. In my mind I was laying in hell- alone and surrounded by evil things. Afraid and tortured I felt. I could barely hear my ex, but the words “call on the light” rang through to me very clearly. So I did. And I saw the light, and I was taken to places beauty doesn’t describe. Heaven?

Deep breathes. This is hard to type out for you guys- I pray you feel the e-motions I’m feeling as I type these words.

Learning about ego, shadow, and inner children I’m finding- I never had a demonic entity attached to me- I had part of me that was hurt, and lost, and needed love.

He says he saw a black cloud rise from my body- in my mind I see the same thing. How can this be?

Your ego comes online in the worst of the worst as a child around 5 to 7. Sometimes later- but I feel because of the childhood I had mine came on earlier. The ego is an energy of defense. It saved me when I needed it as a child- and through my life. The ego has its own little energy field, just like the inner child, and the shadow. They all have major purposes and you can even be perceived multiple personalities through this. (As well as past life energies). The ego, shadow, and inner child can cause chaos in your life. They can mess up all your manifestings. They can manifest as demonic entities- they be frightening.

Looking back at this, it’s by far my most spiritual experience ever. It’s the most powerful. When I was released from that darkness I remembered my souls oath, to fight evil for the light for eternity. And that has changed my life. That was one year ago. My spiritual awakening happed 7 years ago. The timeline is crazy. I chase this now. Crave this healing and light.

I did mushrooms a few more times, each time asking who and what I was. I was shown exactly what I am.

I support the use of mushrooms as a means to heal your body and soul. They are magick. As are you.

Past life mediations

Interested in knowing why you and your “twin” have had this experience in this life?

I listened to this meditation, outside Under a tree. It changed my life.

Make the intention that you experience the past lives you and this other person may have shared prior to this life. Use headphones for the best experience. Close your eyes and play the video.

If you have trouble visualizing, know that visualization is actually a psychic power that’s worked like a muscle. You have to develop it sometimes.

Silencing the mind can be hard for many. The ego is a great distractor. Affirmations help. “I surrender to this meditation”. Focusing on your breathe automatically stops the ego from talking.

Anytime you meditate you’re teaching your mind that you are in control. It’s a practiced skill. Do it with love for your journey- and eagerness for growth and you’ll develop it beautifully.

This is a long drawn out meditation. It’s a past life regression session. You can skip to about 10 minutes in and still get the same affect.

I’ve used this particular meditation several times and have been able to integrate things into this life, and I’m excited about it. Any meditation can be geared to your own personal intentions for growth.

Manifest Your Desires

Oooo I love the topic of manifesting! You can’t believe you’ll get what you want- you have to KNOW. If you doubt it, question it, wonder when you’ll get it- you’ll have to start over. Manifesting successfully is simply aligning to universe for your personal desires. We are supposed to be able to manifest on demand, but throughout the ages our powers have been killed and suppressed. There’s no reason to feel greedy or like you’re asking for too much. Simply have a pure heart while manifesting. Ask the universe and be thankful all I’m the same breath. Ways to manifest: ❤️ Facebook status. I have used Facebook to manifest for 2 years now. ❤️ journal. Write what you desire detailed and in past tense. ❤️ mala beads. Use beads and say your affirmations as you count the beads. ❤️ sex magick- your manifesting comes from your sacral chakra. Heal it. Work your magick in the sexual organs. Embrace all of who you are. ❤️ visualization. See in the minds eye what you want. Visualize it clearly and for about 10 minutes each day. Then get up and do something towards that goal, no matter how small. ❤️ vision boards. Cut out pics of what you want and make a collage on the wall. ❤️ music. Listen to music that supports the life you want. ❤️ magick. My absolute fave! When you manifest- you create from nothing out of the quantum realm. There’s no taking from another person, or imbalance in the universe if you ask for 10,000$ a month. The fabric of the universe is where everything comes from. Healing is important around this topic. Your ego, shadow, inner child all have an affect on how your manifestings come into fruition. You should check your energy daily prior to working on your manifesting.

The most important tip is to know what and who you are. You are source energy, God manifest into flesh. You have the powers to create any and all things. You control the energies around you. You create life when have children, or plant seeds. You are all powerful. REMEMBER.

There’s soooo much more!!

I run two subscriptions where I teach people spiritual truths and mystic secrets that change their lives. Join me on Facebook!

Divine Truth and Magick

Painful memories

These last few days are bringing up the worst of the worst traumatic memories for me. And also some bad triggers. I find I’m still extremely terrified of certain things- and the defense acts out as anger. I’m not ok energetically right now.

When I was 22 I drove my car a few towns over- to a house of stranger. I was giving this guy I had known about a week or two, a ride to his cousins house. We were trying to know each other. I thought he was a great guy. His demeanor was that of a computer geek with glasses and all.

He asked for a ride to his cousins house and so I took him. When I got there, my car totally broke down. At this time in my life I was acting in rebellion against everything I had been raised to believe. So my mom and family weren’t going to be there to help me- this is where my mind went.

The guy hit me the first time that same day. He slapped me 4 times across the face and stomped so hard on my right foot that it still is tender when it’s touched. That was 12 years ago. Everyday after became a living nightmare. I would be raped, beat, and terrorized daily for 4 months. He humiliated me, made me do sexual things with another females, burned me with a cigarette once, made me do everything for him- I was his slave.

The most prominent memories in my mind are of being choked up on the wall, feet swinging while seeing the devil in his eyes. He beat me so bad one time I was black and blue and purple for a month or more. He beat me after I found out I was pregnant, more than just a few times. This was a daily occurrence.

I woke up with a knife to my neck one night, because he dreamed I killed him.

One time he told me I could leave- and I went running to the neighbors house and he let me get half way through the yard before he chased me down and snatched me by my hair and drug me back into the house.

He let me call my mom once, and tell her what was going on. She sent a bus ticket for me to go to Louisiana with her. He was letting me leave then. I just knew it. When we got to the bus station he had me ask for the money for the ticket. When they wouldn’t give me the money- he wouldn’t let me leave.

This man would kill me. I knew it.

I drove to the house I was held captive in for 4 months. I willing went to this place. And then I wasn’t allowed to leave. He made his mother believe I was his girlfriend. He made his family believe I was his girlfriend. If I said anything other than that- I would be beat. Or worse. His mom and sister tried to warn me about him but there was nothing they could tell me. His mom even tried to get me an apartment at one period and told me he wouldn’t be allowed there. She couldn’t help me. No one could.

Tax season came. He had extra funds. He wanted to go to Panama City to Club la Vela with his friends. He took me with him to PC but left me at the hotel. While he and his friends were gone I hesitated to leave. I was home. This was my home town. My mom knew everyone here. I could get help. I knew it. But my mentally abused mind thought he might love me. I had never had love. Not from any one growing up, not that I actually remembered. It took him coming back with another female- for me to leave. He sent me to Walmart in the car. And I went the opposite direction. He really had me brainwashed so much that I pondered staying in the most nightmarish hellhole. No one deserves what I went through.

I’m working on healing this still. 4 months out of my life I was terrorized, beaten, and bruised. The crazy part? This is but one small piece to my story. Bare with me today as I pour these memories on the frontline for healing. Please send your healing to these memories. I deserve healing. ❤️🙏

  • I gave Birth to my daughter on my bday that year.

Remembering

It started two years ago- some might say- my deep awakening. But my true illusionary awakening was in 2014. This is when I learned of the world we truly live in and the lies held in the false truths of the news and media- the conditioning of the world- the lies of history. It was dark and heart breaking and I’d go through a whirlwind of emotions before becoming emotionally stable in 2019.

But two years ago I started my healing journey- healing myself and others. Now- two years after I’ve worked on myself/lost my mother/ moved 3 states: I’ve grown so much that I’m having a hand in others evolving daily and it fills my soul with light and love.

I wake up to messages that speak of shifting/growth/healing and it’s done at the whim of these healing hands. It’s a beautiful thing when someone comes to you in tears because of the truth you allowed them to see, and the spiritual work done; and it’s all I’ve wanted for so long. As long as I can remember- while diving into my own pool of sludge and pain- to just touch another soul and help them to feel better. I knew all to well the painful attacks of the mind in the dark- something I wouldn’t wish on anyone.

Divine Truth and Magick LLC is taking off and I’m here for it. I’m ready for life to shift and change on grand scales all around the universe. I’m ready for the light to take over and for the matrix to crumble- I’m here for it. I came here for just this reason and I’ve found my calling/passion/mission. Whatever label you wish: I’ll chase it. I’ll chase the healing of the planet/people/ and all that need love in this universe.

I remember who I am. I’m remembering who I am. I remember my power, my past lives, I integrate all day everyday. I’m working hard on me.

And Remembering.

Awakening

It was March of 2014.

A plane went missing over Malaysia. Y’all remember?

It just happened I worked at sonic with a J. Smith, conspiracy theorist; my manager. This man would set me on my awakening journey. He told all of us about the conspiracies around the news stories and why the plane went missing. The plane had some scientists on it that had invented a total hydro ran car, and it couldn’t be revealed. The powers that be wouldn’t allow it because it would mess up the oil industry, what ‘Merica is founded in.

He told me about 9/11 and some other things going on that I was blind to. I listened from a place deep down inside me, eager to know truth.

He sparked something in me, and it set off months and months worth of obsessive research into the hidden world of our government, national and global. I learned about the millions of caskets in fields all over, I learned how nano technology has its hand in control. The things I began learning were terrible, and The rabbit hole only got deeper.

I learned of so many things that shook my soul that eventually I hated America. I wanted to leave so bad. This country was ruined in my eyes and I saw no hope. I had to quit. I learned quite enough truth in all that, and saw it’s effects on humanity in our country that anxiety kicked in. Fear.

This bomb in my reality had a hand in me leaving my boyfriend at the time and moving in with my sister. I moved to Louisiana, where my sister introduced me to Islam. She gifted me some books that I began to read. My spirituality became the forefront of my life. Who was I? Why did I hurt so bad? Where did I come from? Why had life been so terrible and why did it seem I was cursed? I cried. For months. This was the first time my body had been free from chemicals like thc, alcohol, and cigarettes. I wasn’t eating pork, and I was reading the Quran with respect to the religion. Covered and doing prayers. This time would awaken my soul.

I spent a summer having the most realistic dreams I’ve ever had, some past life and some that came true the next day. I had a dream about who and what I was, Source. This time brought many people into my life, including some that would watch me, and guide me as I awakened fully. I learned I was empathic and feeling the pain of the planet, and humanity and that’s why I cried like I did in those days. I learned that I came from elsewhere and was not quite human.

Life picked up quickly after that summer and my own traumas began manifesting into deep depression, ptsd, and anxiety. I was buried in chemical meds and told I was crazy. The years that followed would lead me to mental wards, and psychologically conformed doctors appointments every other week.

Misery.

My magick called me. My higher self, my guides, my cards, my candles. It was 2019. March if I’m not mistaken when I learned about manifesting, enhanced my spiritual relationships, and found my self love. My tarot cards and how I read changed my soul. I became a witch.

Not long after that, my mom would pass away, and I’d venture to Oklahoma. This was where my second awakening happened, on heroic doses of mushrooms and traumatic violence.

Dark night of the soul, to the darkest and most evil degree. It woke up all my psychic powers though. It showed me what I was, that 6 months brought out a Goddess.

My awakening isn’t over. I’ve got one more step. It’s the chemical addiction in our things like foods and meds. Marijuana is a plant I’m dependent on, and that’s holding my evolution back. I’m excited to see the growth and power I have hidden within me.

This awakening stuff doesn’t happen instantly. It happens over time. Once you hit that first step, the conspiracy level, the one that shows you what your reality actually is, you’ll never go back unless you choose to. I’ve learned so much, I’ve gone from seeking answers from outside sources, doing my own research, and depending on others to learn the basics to feeling like I really don’t need answers from anyone but me. I am All. I’ve learned that all of the universe is within me, including a a goddess with the powers to create all she desires.

I know now, that it’s not just America. It’s the whole world, all of time, and everything we knew to be true when we were growing up. And my hatred has turned to compassion and love, I want to help others see the truth I see. The powers hidden within each of us are magnificent! The powers we have to manifest our realities are outstanding. This hasn’t been easy but it takes Truth to know yourself. You’re a god, that has been lied to, manipulated, and chemically drugged to feel like you’re a lot less than that. I say no more! I won’t allow myself to be manipulated and abused by the world, the powers that be, the 1%. I’m fighting back; By becoming the most healthy version of me in this life. ❤️

12 years strong

After being held against my will for 4 months and carrying my abusers child, I suffered terrible ptsd. It was years before I knew what the problem was. By the time I found out I had abused my child, as projection of my own pain. She had suffered because I was emotionally unavailable for her. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve loved my daughter from the moment I found out I was pregnant. I love my daughter more than anything in this world, but none the less, life lead us down a road of unhappy spaces between parks and pictures.

She was shut out, and I’m seeing now how it’s effected her. My guilt is slowly subsiding as I’m healing, but I find myself crying for the mother I could have been, had things been different. I honestly, thought for a second, I could try again and do it right. But I still was not healed how I need to be, to be a mother again.

But I get a chance to get it right with my daughter. I get a chance to explain, heal, and prepare her for what life may have in store. I get all the hugs I want, instead of telling her to get off me when I was aggravated all the time. I get to have those conversations that matter, between a mother and daughter.

Looking at her today, a summer away from being 12; with her own life, friends, and gf I’m blown away at the young woman I am raising. I’m so fucking proud of her. Through all the darkness she has seen, she still smiles; just like me. I see her beautiful soul shine bright and laughter fills the room, and I know I’m doing something right. I’ve done something right. The love was there whether I felt it or not, she did. It shows in how she glows now.

I swear to god I love myself

This was Easter 2017.

Before I would ever see those walls of the mental ward at the hospital in Monroe, before I knew why I was so angry all the time. Before I knew I had experienced trauma so bad that it effected my daily life (ptsd). It was before my dabbling with magick, and tarot. It was before most you were in my life. I was miserable on the inside but I managed to smile for others and spread my light. These were times when makeup made me feel pretty because I didn’t love myself. A darkness lingered close, and soon I would take 3 trips to the mental hospital after this, each for suicidal thoughts and actions.

This was before I knew myself, before I knew why I was here. This was before I understood why I had to go through all the pain.

I had literally moved to this home a week before this party. I moved in with my uncle and my mom. I had no clue what I was getting myself or my daughter into. I won’t go into details, but it was traumatic. My mom had moved from Florida and my kid missed her. I knew my mom might not have too many more years to live, and I packed everything to go states away because my kid wanted to go. I wasn’t happy either, so why not?

Those few years I lived in Louisiana were the hardest on me mentally. Those were my darkest days. They were also full of bad energy, and dramatically enhanced fights. I was homeless more than I have ever been in my life, I went without more than I had ever in my life. My daughter suffered in those years, the drama was so intense.

When my passed away Oct 1, 2019 I would move to Oklahoma. The entire energy changed, my entire outlook on life changed.

I managed to come from taking 7 meds, to none. From wanting to die, to loving life; even through the hardest times. I am so fucking proud of myself. These scars will always remind me of my lows, but my life will remind me of My willpower, and my ability to smile and love life through all I have been through are my greatest strengths.

Will you arise?

Freedom is my main concern, and yours is being manipulated to the finest degree. I came here, from another time and another place to remind you there’s a rebel in your blood. One who wouldn’t dare let another take anything much less your FREEDOM. A simple reminder, important still, to remember the past and who you are.

I came to remind you, you’re not mere human, but a God, walking this earth manifested to create. I came to remind you, Your power is Greater than you could imagine. Close your eyes and see yourself, a magnificent being, magickal and powerful.

I came to remind you, the time is now. It’s time to stand in your power and stand your ground. You have to remember, or you’ll wait too long, your power will dwindle, and the flame will be gone. Take time to think, let the chills fill your cells, for you know. It’s truth I tell.

It’s time to remember, who the real god is. When all you have is your hands and feet, when you’re beaten and down and can’t even speak, you only have one person and that person is you. Rise up, the Phoenix you are is emerging now! From the ashes claim your power and make your victory lap! It’s time to fight, in your life, your job, your school, your community for peace and justice.

It’s time to make a change and it starts today, it starts with you and it starts with me. I ask you, will you stand in your power? Will you walk away from abuse? Will you gain control of your life? Will you make the changes you need? Your freedom is on the line, although no cages threaten you. A prisoner to the pain, misfortune, a slave to the “game”, will you allow it to continue?

Lately it’s been bad…

I’m sitting here, high on pain meds when I hate the things.

Two weeks ago I found out I was pregnant. I was excited, and beyond myself with love for the universe. I had a miscarriage in May of 2018, and I had visions of my son. I was shown by the divine that I would have a beautiful baby boy, and he would be happy and healthy. Things weren’t what they seemed.

I started bleeding soon after and the dr appointments began soon after that. It wasn’t normal and they couldn’t find the baby. I had several vagina ultrasounds before they decided it was tubal.

The danger of a tubal pregnancy: as the baby grows, the tube will burst, leaving the mother to bleed out and experience terrible pain. It’s very deadly.

I was offered two options to terminate my pregnancy, methotrexate or have it surgically removed.

Me and methotrexate go back years, to 24 and psoriasis. I refused it then, and I refused it this time. The surgery would be 3 incisions. One on each side of my belly, and in my belly button. I would go under anesthesia, something I had never done.

My emotions were all over, and it was hard for me to function. The babies father wasn’t much help, no one could console me. I was numb and eventually no more tears could come. My second baby lost, my second baby that I never got to hold. My heart broke for me, for my daughter; for the tiny love that didn’t make it, for all the mothers who had ever gone through this. My heart is still breaking.

It’s been 2 days since my surgery and I’m having good moments and bad. My body hurts, and I’m exhausted. But I have found hope and faith in the coming blessings.

I am well aware that everything happens for a reason, and I’m certain this is no different. I can ponder the idea; what if my baby had been born with a genetic defect; or what if something else bad could have happened and this is really a blessing in disguise.

I know my love; my heart; and my soul. I know that this was not to punish me, or hurt me. This happened so that something better could happen, for me or another.

I will smile, and be grateful for all that I do have, and for my beautiful daughter. I will smile and know, that I am loved, and I have loved. I will smile, and I will praise very mother I come across.

We are warriors. Walking miracles. Portals from the spirit world, to the physical. We are magick, we are grace. I love each of you, my sisters. And I honour you fathers as well.

The pain is bad for you, I know this too. It’s not just the mother that loses the baby, the fathers hearts break just the same. ❤️